“In your heart know you are enough… be willing to grow and become even better.”
How often does our inner critic tell us we aren’t enough? For some of us it can be pretty often. So, how do we get that voice to subside? Remember a couple days ago (May 8th post) I talked about how we have a choice about redirecting our minds when they go off spinning stories? Befriending your inner critic is another great choice. It takes work, diligence, and practice but it can be done.
Bring to mind a time that your inner critic was talking to you. Try not to get reengaged with the story, but rather get a sense for the feelings… the feeling you feel when that inner critic is talking to you, and the feelings the inner critic is trying to express. Yes, you read that right. What is the inner critic really trying to convey? Is it scared, lonely, bored, mad, sad? Inevitably our inner critic talks to us because it has some sort of unmet need.
Our meditation practice allows us to separate ourselves a bit from this inner critic and take a closer look. See if you can figure out your inner critic’s need in the instance you imagined. Then imagine that inner critic as a small child. If a child came to you expressing fear, loneliness, boredom, anger, sadness, wouldn’t you do what what you could to help ease that child’s discomfort? Wouldn’t you be tender, kind, patient? Try treating your inner critic in this way and see what happens.
Notice the inner critic with a bit of detachment, try to understand what is really being said, then do what you can, if anything, to ease the critic’s discomfort. Then give your inner critic a hug, a cup of hot cocoa, some crayons, what ever will help it feel more at ease, and invite it to sit next to you as you move on throughout your day.
One day I had a conversation with a woman who had been teaching meditation for years. She mentioned that she has an invisible backpack of self-recrimination she carries around with her daily, and that some days the pack gets really heavy. My heart went out to her. I wanted to suggest to her how she might be able to put that pack down, but it wasn’t the right time or place. I hope at some point she learns, in whatever way works for her, how to let go of the pack so she can truly know in her heart she is enough. We all make mistakes; we are human. But being willing to grow and become even better, is the key to positive change.
As you settle in for your meditation day, either 10 minutes, or whatever you choose, keep in mind your inner critic, listen to it, embrace it, and in your heart know you are enough and be willing to grow and become even better.
