“Caring itself is love… Caring starts with self, from there you can extend it to others.”
Have you ever noticed that you sometimes put others’ needs first? Have you ever noticed that when you do that sometime you end up feeling a little burned out or stressed out? Have you ever considered that if you’d taken the time to take care of yourself first you might have been better able to help someone else? There is a reason flight attendants tell you put your own mask on first.
I had a friend tell me a while back that she realized she needed to take better care of herself, so she did. And for her that meant spending less time with other people and more time on her own. She began to feel more grounded and in a much better mental space. At that same time her mother, with whom she’d had a difficult relationship, became very ill and died shortly thereafter. My friend was very upset, beating herself up for taking time out for self-care rather than spending time with her mother. I asked her if she had spent time with her mother what would it have been like. She thought for a while and said, “Not very good, we were always arguing with each other over nothing. She triggered me all the time. That is part of why I realized I needed to take better care of myself, and that meant spending less time with her.” I then asked her how things went in the last two days she had with her mother. She thought again and said, “You know, we got along better than we had in years. I truly felt like we connected and could see each other as individuals. We were peaceful together.” We sat in silence for a while. Then she said, “I realize now, in reflecting on it, it was better for me to be away so we could have 2 good days together. That means more to me, and I’m guessing to her, than a couple months of time where we were at each other’s throats.”
For me, this is a beautiful illustration of today’s theme…. that we need to care for ourselves first, and from there we can extend that care and love to others. If we haven’t found a way to love ourselves, it is really hard to love others authentically.
Keep these ideas in mind as you move into meditation today, and do an internal check-in to see if you need to do anything to take better care of yourself.
